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When it comes to helping kids become good with money, fear and silence are not our friends.

I willingly identify as a financial avoidant when it comes to dealing with my own money. I know I’m not alone — many of us avoid aspects of our personal finances for lots of reasons. Money can be emotional, exhausting and leave us staring at the ceiling in the dark hours, questioning our life choices.

I’ve been thinking lately about how my financial avoidance affects not just me but those I love. Can I avoid dealing with boring banky stuff while succeeding financially and, more importantly, helping the children in my life achieve financial success?

Fight fear with knowledge: Start by educating yourself

I trace my aversion to money to how my parents created a bubble of secrecy around it. They didn’t talk about money, and I didn’t ask. But recently I heard a multimillionaire suggest we should talk about money like we talk about anything else we want out of life. If you want to be a better guitar player, you’d likely find a great player and get in on a jam session to learn their techniques.

We should do the same with money.

Have questions about being a better investor? Find someone with experience in investing and start asking. Don’t have anyone like that in your social network? No worries, because your bank or credit union has people with the knowledge to help you gain confidence in building a nest egg.

Of course, the scariest part of money is parting with it. So when looking for the right finance professional, take your time, do some research and don’t rush in. Be upfront about your goals and honest about your fears and boundaries. Consider it like taking your money out on a date with an eye on a long-term relationship.

Talk about it often — and early

Even if we’d rather not, adults need to talk openly with kids about money: how we spend, budget and save. Children soak up what we tell them about money stuff, and even if you are weird about certain things (of course you are — who isn’t), it’s good to talk about why.

Kids love to play with fake money, and the good news is they can learn about real money as young as 5 years old. Recent studies show that attitudes around money are set by the age of 7, proving that early healthy introductions to managing their own money can give kids good habits for life.

Warm kids up to “all that money stuff” by opening a savings account or even a checking account. My friend recently opened a checking account for his almost-7-year-old daughter at SAFE Credit Union, complete with a tap-to-pay debit card so she can shop just like her dad!

Talk with your kids in a supportive way about how they plan to spend money now and save some for later. See how they do and give them pointers you’ve picked up over the years, like shopping the sale racks and not spending more than you have. Making it fun, real and relevant will help them form a secure attachment style to money.

Start teaching them now with real-life lessons

A really important lesson for kids to learn is how to save money. It may not be our favorite topic, but it’s better to pass down our good looks and Grandma’s stroganoff recipe than anxiety over money.

Lesson No. 1: Just because you have it doesn’t mean you have to spend it. Help kids practice saving a percentage of their allowance, as well as birthday and holiday gift money. (Throw in some lessons on adding, subtracting and percentages, and you’ll have a math prodigy on your hands!)

Lesson No. 2: Have a goal. A blind box Labubu is around $50? Adorable. Make a plan for how they’ll get there. Delayed gratification is one of life’s most important lessons!

Lesson No. 3: Go out and get it. When you take on a new job or add a side hustle, your kids are watching. They’ll notice your efforts and see what it takes to make a change. I recommend doubling down on an activity you already enjoy (from music gigs to caregiving to power washing driveways — there’s a way to monetize it). You can also inspire your children’s inner entrepreneurs by finding opportunities for them to start their own businesses that go beyond the lemonade stand.

Susan Burns works in the communications department at SAFE Credit Union in Sacramento, where she regularly writes about personal finance.

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